just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
