I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
