i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
