Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
