Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
