He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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