maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
