i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
did i walk over a car last night?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
