But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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