I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
