one two three fourrrrnication!
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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