He told me they were just razor bumps!
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
