Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
