Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
