So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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