I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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