this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
