Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
