my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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