i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You made out with two different species that night
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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