Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I think I am morally bankrupt
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Randomize
