I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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