dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
