So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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