get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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