check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
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