i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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