You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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