Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
