i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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