So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
