I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
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