My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
