Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
