Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
