I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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