Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
