i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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