This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize