i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
