Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
