you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I love having hate sex.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
