I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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