remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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