So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
