Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
