im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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