Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
