Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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