it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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