I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
