i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
