Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
