My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
