I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
