He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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