apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize