I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
