Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
