I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
