Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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