Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
So squirting runs in the family.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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