It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
