I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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