I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
