I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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