don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize