just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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