I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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