Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
