Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
i think my cat just said my name.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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