do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
