HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
