Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
