on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
