My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
i drank out of a bidet.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
